I am writing this blog today because today is a ‘fuck tonne of shit to do’ type day.
I think the majority of us had it hammered into us at an early age that it is impossible to please everyone. No matter how hard you try, there will be someone in your life that you may have to let down or upset or offend without even realising. For some reason, this acceptable trait of human nature is far from acceptable in an institutional context.
Boarding school. Not only that but a MUSIC boarding school. The hell of A levels combined with the pressures of performance, improvement and success. Letting someone down simply isn’t an option so you find yourself busting a gut in order to please, only to find that in the end your efforts aren’t usually rewarded. You’re pushed harder, simply to see an ‘A’ for a piece of prep or ‘distinction’ in an assessment. The institution leads you to believe that you’re working for them and very rarely for yourself.
This emotion is one I am all too aware of but one I am also trying to manage. Is it so bad simply to prioritise? I want to be a cellist. I have a performance tomorrow but also have a music essay and a German vocabulary test. My German teacher may be hell on earth but the consequences of failing my vocab really aren’t going to kill me. Ok, so I’ll practice for an hour this evening, go to the gym for half an hour, maybe do some silent practice then if I feel up to it I might make a colourful poster of the vocab words.
It’s amazing to think what you can put your mind to when you don’t have enough time. It’s simply a question of knowing your priorities, having a plan and making everything as fun as possible- for me this usually involves making a poster or writing a poem.
Realise that there is more time than you think and that so long as you’re balanced and relaxed, the tough days will get easier.