I can’t do Jazz, but I know it so well

Jazz music has always inspired me to do something but I can never quite figure it out! It may sound odd to some, but it gives me this wealth of energy and inspiration that I feel unable to organise or act upon. Should I try to compose a jazz melody, does my mind want to hear more jazz composers, should I arrange something jazzy for cello? I’ve attempted each of these, but alas none have worked out or taken off. Perhaps this tangible lovey, gooey, jazzyness I hear need not be touched by my innocent classicalised mind! Perhaps I should try to feel the wealth of sound and colour and not worry about having to recreate it or put myself into it. These phases of jazz obsession happen to so many of us- why am I not content with simply listening and accepting. I can’t ‘do’ jazz, but I feel jazz, understand jazz and bloody love jazz!